New Kid On The Block
by Invader Cloudie
Summary: The Tallest start to become bugged by "Invader Nah" a young female Irken, so.. well, they send her to Zim of course!


WHOO! I finally got off my lazy ass and wrote something! YES! I am so proud of myself! This idea was floating in my head, so… I decided to give it a shot. THERE IS NO ROMANCE IN THIS! DON'T EVEN ASK! JUST HUMOR, AND STUFF!

Dedicated to :

Invader Puppet, Lexi The Writer, Evil World Leader, InuGhostand ZnakDoom, (For being such good writers, friends, and reviewers)

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Invader Nah put her ship on auto-pilot and then twirled her small Irken fingers together nervously. "I get to be trained? Trained for invading…" she muttered to herself. "MASTER! What do I do with the space weasels?" a whiny voice called out from the back ship. "Keep them in the cage Tir!" she yelled. Silence. "Tir?" Nah called out. Silence. "TIR!" Nah was getting worried. "Umm… Yesss?" Tir, a small black and red S.I.R. unit replied innocently. "What happened to the space weasels Tir?" Nah asked. "Well, umm you see…" Tir trailed off. Soon Nah knew what Tir had done with the space weasels… "Tir… What is a space weasel doing outside, floating in space… with… is that a cheese ball in its hands?" Nah asked, squinting at the small space weasel that, indeed was floating in space, with a cheese ball. 

"Well, I thought it would be hungry." Tir replied. Rocking back and forth. "What is the space weasel doing OUTSIDE the ship?" Nah asked. Tir smiled this big goofy smile and replied happily, "All the others were going to get lonely! Out there… in the cold."

Meanwhile on Earth…

"Gir. Gir! GIR!" Zim screeched. Gir appeared out of nowhere. "There's a shippy thingy commin' in for landing!" Gir ran around the room screaming, "Shippy thing!" Gir stopped in mid-step and collapsed on the floor in a sitting position.

"A ship?" Zim mused aloud. "Computer! Is the ship Irken!" Zim yelled. "I don't know." The Computer said bluntly. "Well-" before Zim could finish a sentence, his house began shaking. "Its landin' PA!" gir got up and ran into the kitchen.

The echo of two voices made Zim jump. Two voices… two Irken voices… two female Irken voices… IN HIS HOUSE? "Tir! The space weasels are GONE! All of them! The offering I was supposed to give-" she was cut off by Gir. "HI!" Gir said in a perky manner. Tir tilted her head to one side and looked at the small blue and silver robot, then looked up at Nah. "Yes Tir, go play." Nah sighed. "Hey! Do you like waffles?" Tir asked as she and Gir walked off.

"You!" Zim rounded the corner into the kitchen were Nah stood. "Yes?" She asked. "What are you doing in my base!" Zim practically yelled. "Training." Nah replied, she blinked her black and gray eyes, then stuck her hand out for Zim to shake. "You must be Zim. The Tallest told me about-" Zim smacked her hand away with his. "The Tallest! They sent you!" Zim asked. Nah nodded and rubbed her hand. "I don't know why I need training… they just said that you'd be a good mentor, you know… teacher and that I should come down here and pester you for a while… I don't know what they meant by that but, I obeyed." she said quietly.

Zim, aside from being very confused that he had a female Irken around the age of a human pre-teen in his kitchen, practically TELLING him that she was going to be living there, was also mad. Not mad at Nah, or Tir and Gir, who were coloring on the walls with crayons, he was mad at the Tallest for not telling him they were sending a FEMALE Irken down to live with him.

Nah crossed her arms. She was an oddling, she didn't look like any other Irken on the planet, and that's why the Tallest wanted to get rid of her. She had pale green skin, with black eyes. Her left antenna was pierced with a silver hoop earring. She wore the traditional Irken Invaders clothes, but she had sown red stitching onto her gloves, put buckles on her boots, and had put safety pins onto her long shirt.

Zim's eyes widened and he realized something, "Where did you land your ship?"

Meanwhile outside…

"Gaz! GAZ! Come look at this!" Dib screeched. Gaz slowly walked over to Zim's front yard where there sat a Irken ship. Gaz didn't even say anything, she just kept playing her GS2.

Ok, and now we go back inside the house were more important things happen!

"I landed it in the front yard. Why?" Nah asked. "AH! The front yard? WE'LL BE SEEN!" Zim screeched as he ran out of the kitchen. Nah sat down right there on the floor and fiddled with her glove.

All of a sudden Gir and Tir came running into the room with makeup smeared all over their faces and clothing that looked like it had come over Brittany Spears' closet on. "Master! Look at me! I am slutty!" Tir did a little moonwalk and then threw her arms up triumphantly. "That's nice Tir, so… now that I am here, what do I do now?" Nah asked. Gir grabbed her by the arm and dragged her over to the "I Eat Food" poster on the wall.

Gir looked both ways, (like this! . >.> . ) then slammed his little fist down onto the poster. The wall opened up and there stood an assortment of dresses, wigs, makeup, and other things.

Gir grabbed a piece of clothing off the rack and held it out to Nah for her to try on. "No. Its ok… I am fine in the clothes I am in…" Nah said pushing the black leather thong that Gir had shoved in her face. "Noooo… your not okay…" Gir said, putting the thong back into the secret closet. "Um, how am I not ok?" Nah asked. Then, in a weird motherly voice, Gir told her, "You don't got melons!" Nah tilted her head to one side, "I am not hungry…" she responded. "Nooo! Not food! Melons!" Gir repeated. "Melons?" Nah asked. Gir pulled a black padded bra out from the closet, put it on, then stuffed it with Jell-O. "MELLLLONS!" Gir sung as he danced like a freak. Nah just stared.

Gir shoved a bowl of Jell-O into Nah's face and repeated the word, "Melons" over and over again. Reluctantly, Nah shoved the Jell-O down her shirt. "You need hair!" Gir screeched, satisfied with the.. Um…Jell-O-y melons that he had given her. "What's your faaavorite color?" Gir asked. "Black." Nah replied. Gir held out a long black haired wig with lime green streak in it. She put it on her head, "Anything else?" she asked. "One more!" Tir came up from behind her and stuffed a pillow down her pants, "Booty-lishious!" Tir yelled. "You look like… like… like… JAY-LENNO!" Gir gasped as he shut the closet door. (a/n- he meant Jay-lo, but… this is Gir we're talking about.) Nah turned around to face Tir, just to see that she had on a suit like Gir's only it was red instead of green.

"Should we go outside?" Nah asked. Tir nodded. "You look so normal master!" Tir smiled. "Yes… I shall blend in perfectly!" Nah said in triumph.

Little did she know that this seasons 'in' list, didn't include looking like you have a truck for an ass and looking like you just stole 10 apples and stuffed them down your shirt.

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Read and Review, 

Cloudie!


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